When Your Marriage is Failing....

The family is the basic unit of society, and we all know that.  The family is where an individual learns the basic things in life, i.e. getting along with others, personal and religious beliefs, among others.  The family is where an individual seeks for support and encouragement.  

But what happens if the family falls apart because the marriage is falling apart?

Marriage is the one that bonds the family together.  Sadly, couples no longer hold on to the vows that they have made on their wedding day, making their marriage disposable.  The Philippines is one of the remaining countries in the world that has no divorce and sadly, lawmakers are now proposing to make this happen.  While a lot are rejoicing over this bill, it also made me sad that it gives an idea to couples that they can easily get away with the marital bonds should this becomes a law.

I have failed marriage (see post here).  If I only have a choice, I also won't let go.  I will try to preserve the marriage as long as I can.  However, these days, I have an opportunity to talk with other friends who are having marital challenges and they are already on the verge of giving up and they are asking me for some advice.  What would I tell them?  Will I encourage them to keep on trying to hold on to their marriage or just give up?  I feel that I am not the right person to give such advices because I also have a failed marriage.  

On the other hand, I feel honored that they see me as a person whom they can pour out their emotions.  I may not give the best advice, but I can show to them that I can be their shoulder to cry on and always ready to listen.

In the Philippines, one cannot just file for annulment until the couple have resorted to all efforts to make their marriage work.  One of the things that the court is looking into is if the couple have undergone marriage counselling.  Sadly, in the Philippines, undergoing marriage counselling is not an option for couples in trying to keep their marriage.  They'd rather move away from each other or just be two different people in one house.  

On another note, I would still recommend that couples should undergo marriage counselling as one of the ways to keep the marriage alive.  It will help them sort our their differences and on what aspects they can compromise.  Marriage counselling will help them understand themselves better and will help them to solve the issues that they have to each other.  Marriage counselling works if the husband and wife are open and willing to be counselled.  Read more about the benefits of marriage counselling HERE.

Still, the best counsellor is Jesus.  Consult His Word whenever we feel down and confused.  Pray to Him and open your heart so that you will hear His voice.  

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