Tuesday, January 23, 2018

On Resolving Conflicts

Conflicts are part of our lives.  Whether it is big or small, we should find time and ways to solve it.  Conflicts test our character.  Not all the time we win on conflicts, but we must exert all our efforts in solving it.  Some may resort to harsher solutions, but let us remember some things first before reaching to that point.

People have different ways of resolving conflicts, and one is not better than the other, so let us just respect the decision of the person involved and just remind the person gently on the possible repercussions of the decision he/she has made.  Some couples try to solve their by undergoing counseling.  In the United States, Regain.us helps couples to sort out their differences and rekindle their love for each other.  You may check out Regain.us services here.  No need to remind the person about the past, about the so-called wasted time on solving the problem, as long as the problem is resolved, rejoice in it and pray for peace and healing for all of those who are involved.

How do you solve conflicts?

IGNORE.

This is the easiest way to solve the problem.  Yes, it'll stop the offender from doing further harm on you but it won't stop the behavior and doing offense to other people.

CONFRONT.

Let the other person know that you got offended.  Communication is still better than leaving the issue hanging.  However, not all confrontations are healthy either; one may feel emotional during the face-off, so better to clear your mind and heart before doing so.  You may put your concerns into writing too if you are not good in expressing your thoughts and feelings verbally.

ESCALATE.

When you feel that the conflict isn't resolved between you and the other party, there is nothing wrong on escalating it a little bit especially if you have good intentions on clearing things up.  But wait, there's a proper way of escalating it.

On the Book of Matthew 18:15-18, Jesus mentioned the proper way on how to deal with conflict.  First, talk to the offender.  If no agreement has been settled, then take one or two people who will act as witnesses.  If it has not yet been settled after taking people to mediate, then raise the concern to the church.  Still, if no agreement has been settled, then treat the offender as pagan or tax collector.

Jesus is only reminding people that as much as possible, do not escalate the issue.  But if there's a need to do so, follow the hierarchy of escalation and not skip any of it.  

Jesus is also teaching people the value of reconciliation.  He always reminds us to forgive, to love our enemies, and to pray for those who persecute us.  Yes, it's easier said than done, but if we ask the Lord to give us the power to do so, by His grace, we will be able to do it.

In solving conflicts, it's very important to ask God for guidance first.  Pray and read the Bible to seek what God wants you to do in resolving your conflicts.  You may also consult your friends for possible solutions, but bear in mind that whatever action that you will take in solving this will be your accountability to the Lord.  Lastly, learn to forgive, even if the person didn't apologize, in your heart be ready to forgive and move on.  Ask God for peace and healing.

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